One Last Road Trip

Sam's last road trip, originally uploaded by Maureen Shaughnessy

March 1989 - May 2009

his spirit has gone to the Light ...

Sam went with us to the high desert in Utah ... we knew he was very close to dying yet we could not bear to leave him, so we took him to see our teacher, Brant Secunda, one last time. Brant gave Sam a blessing on Wednesday at midnight. Sam's spirit left his body at 10:00 Thursday morning. As he breathed his last breaths, I lay on the floor next to Sam, my face just inches away from his eyes: he looked at me til the very end. Tim had his hand on Sam's heart and we both told him over and over that it was okay to leave ... that he had been the best pup ever and that we loved him more than anything.

the last thing he knew was the sound of our voices and the touch of our hands stroking his head, gently scratching behind his good ear and touching his heart.

Sam died peacefully and naturally
surrounded by our love...

I miss him so much.

My heart has a hole now.

Yet I know he is in a good place.

I took this last photo of Sam sleeping on the back seat of our car on the way down to Zion, Utah. His face was so white!

Go to the Light, Sam, go to the Light like an arrow


I will write more later when I can.


kerrdelune said...

Oh Maureen, how your heart must be aching - when Cassie traveled beyond the fields we know last August, it broke my heart. Sam was a gift, and he is a gift, and in some measure he will always be with you.

Donna said...

My friend, co-worker and very talented artist sent me to your blog with the beautiful picture and writing of Sam. I know she sees me sitting in my office weary with grief over losing my Jack Russell,
William Robert, "Billy Bob". Even now I can not talk to anyone, listen to music or look at the spot in my room where he slept. I felt your pain, but I also found comfort seeing Sam's picture and reading of his last moments in your loving hands. I will not be empty of tears for my boy, but I feel better communicating with someone else who has been there and understands. Thanks for letting me share.

MY BILLY BOB 1/7/94-8/21/09

With his head in my hands, BillyBob went peacefully to sleep at 9:45 am this morning. He was smothered in kisses and damp with my tears. His ears were full of my soft whispers reminding him that he was truly one of my greatest joys, my forever loyal friend, and the best rat hunter that ever graced this planet.
Yesterday afternoon Joe carried him to the grass in the palm hammock and he rested in the filtered sunlight taking in all the smells of a late summer day. At dinnertime, he stood proud on his non-slip mat next to Dingo and Fischer and ate lots of cheese chunks and several helpings of hamburger lasagna. Before we settled in for the night, I let him lick my leg as long as he wanted and when he got tired, I sat on the floor next to his bed and petted him to sleep.
This morning after our visit to the vet, Billy was truly at peace. Joe helped me wrap him in a white quilted blanket. Under his body I placed my last note of love, our last family Christmas collage, and small bunches of herbs from my garden. A cross of rosemary stems was placed next to his heart. When I was satisfied he would have approved, the bundle was tied with red, white, and blue heart and flower ribbon. I held my good friend tight in my arms as we took our last golf cart ride together on Forever Weekend pastures. Before I handed him over to Joe to let him rest next to Wooie, I hugged him close and Joe and I cried together. We prayed and thanked God for allowing us to have Billy and all his ‘specialness’ in our lives for so many years.
As all of you know, this would be, and is, a hard time for me. This past year, even though I went over my good-by to Billy over and over in my head, the tightness in my throat and the emptiness in my head is almost unbearable. Life goes on….I’m doing good fooling everyone here at work this afternoon, but on the inside, I'm crying my heart out. The poem my sister Suzi sent me helps my heart understand. I know Billy has changed energy and I will see him everywhere there is goodness and joy. Please remember my sweet BillyBob in your prayers,
Love, D

BillyBob, We Have A Secret
We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in fire glow?
And who but I can reach my hand
before we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?
And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me,
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.
And only I can see you swim
in every brook I pass
and when I call, no one but I
can see the bending grass.

Loving BillyBob Forever